Late Night Grocery Shopping

Dear Diary,
Before I begin telling you this story, I need to provide you with a key. Here it is:
……………………….=the amount of time you pause while speaking and your internal monologue starts to tell you to start speaking again
A few evenings ago at the usually empty grocery store, I get in line after a family with many many groceries. As I begin to unload my cart, I realize there is a guy behind me without a cart or basket. I continue to unload my cart and realize it might be a while before I get through. So I turn back to the young gentleman and say, “Would you like to go in front of me, since you only have……………………….one item?” It is during my ………………………. That I have decided against naming the single item he is purchasing because I have seen that it is a box of condoms, and there is a very long line behind him. The amount of time it has taken you to read this, picture the mental image of my cheese ball grin forming as I ask this, and start laughing is about how long it took him to actually respond to my offer. Wait, it might have been just a touch longer. Finally with a smirk he says, “ok thanks.” As he steps around me, he realizes there is not room on the conveyer belt for his box of Trojans and stands there awkwardly while turning around to smirk at me some more. By this time, my face is buried in my cart trying to contain my laughter. (Please note: This is not hilarious because he is buying condoms, wrap that baby up! Rather it was because of his obvious discretion being blown by me and the intentional effort to keep it cool that followed.) So now I am left with four options:
a) Comment to the guy that it is a good thing he went around since he clearly has someplace to be.
b) Ask whose place we’re going to.
c) Let the mounding laughter burst.
d) Play it cool and not embarrass the guy any more.
I really wanted to opt for option (a) but decided against it since he was already blushing. Instead I held in my laughter and played it cool which was very hard when he turned to thank me and smirk one last time before leaving the line. I made it to the parking lot before I burst out laughing, and this little piggy went ha ha ha all the way home.