You're cheap....whaaaat?

Dear Diary,

Today was a fantastic Saturday. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and it was warm outside. Since the weather was so great, I decided to spend my day doing yard work. I started my morning at a local plant sale to benefit the maintenance of a beautiful park in my neighborhood. It was quite lovely. Then I made a trip to the local sprinkler store.

I needed to replace a sprinkler head and ask a few questions about the repair. The store was surprisingly slow with only a few customers and one employee. I looked around but did not find what I was looking for so I waited for the salesman to finish with his current customer. While this was happening, a woman came into the store with more determination than anyone should have when the weather is so nice. She immediately nabbed the salesman's attention, his full attention, to fill her list. She was a little unsure about some of her list and had to make a call to her landscaper. It is at this point that I begin to observe what she is wearing. She's in two long sleeve shirts, long pants, nylons, and slip on leather loafers. Her entire outfit was black with the exception of her shoes which were red. It is nearly 80 degrees and she's in all black layers for a sprinkler project. Now I am hardly one to judge ones ability to layer in the warm weather but even I am in shorts, two short sleeve shirts and flip flops. It is in this moment that I realize she is NOT at all involved with this landscaping expedition and is likely directing from the inside of her well air conditioned home. It is also about this time that she starts calming ranting to the salesman that her landscaper told her the part was $2 less than the marked price, and that no he does not have an account. She calls her landscaper again. By this time, I am waiting, another man is waiting, and another is lingering in the aisles waiting for the line to shorten. This woman is not leaving until she saves this $2. She's also attempting to sweet talk the salesman by calling him a doll yet she has failed to remember his name in the 60 seconds since he first gave it her. The salesman finally caves and gives her a $1.50 discount which the woman is overjoyed with. She calls him a doll one more time and thankfully did not reach across the counter to kiss him. Out the door she goes. The man waiting in line comments about the woman's audacity and the salesman simply responds that he only gave her the discount to get her out of the store so he could help everyone else waiting! I can't help but giggle and when I finally get to the front of the line, the salesman gives me 10% off for "being patient". I think that was code for "not being a crazy stingy bitch" but I'm just guessing.

In retrospect I really wish I would have followed the woman to the parking lot to confirm my suspicion that the woman was driving either a 7 series BMW, Lexus LS, or Mercedes S Class.